Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Interesting Ways People Find This Blog

I use MVtracker to gather stats for this blog. I’m about to pass the 5,000 unique visitors mark, which is not grandly impressive, but not embarrassingly pathetic either.

I often wonder whether I should continue it all, but then someone I don’t know puts me on their blogroll, or someone I do know comments on a piece they liked, and I trod on again for awhile. I know, I know – it shouldn’t all be about other people’s reactions. Still, I started the blog to be some kind of a voice, and a voice shouting to an empty void is really just a crazy person talking to himself, something which I promised my friends and doctors to stop doing.

Most people reach this blog via internet searches, and MVTracker records the search so I can see what it was that brought them here. Unsurprisingly, a lot of them are searching for something Mennonite related, and are therefore fooled into coming here, not realizing how minor I really am. Still, it’s nice to know that 5,000 have been here, even if they were tricked into coming.

I’ve been saving the search strings when I remember to look at the blog stats, and then I keep the ones that are funny or interesting. Here are ones that have caught my eye over the last year:

can champaign get you drunk
what if a body is taller than the casket
mennonite hussein hanging
football without touching the floor record
fort wayne roller dome terrorist
the president sent the flag in bubble
mennonite porn
hitler purify world of jews
consumerism and eisenhower administration
mennonite fanatics
oppression of technologically advanced societies
mennonites and terrorists
why i hate Mennonites
dwarf doors
jesus loves osama
sexual predator democrats
chicken bus guatemala attack
what do the mennonites hate
harvest time corn what do you do with it
why dont mennonites like slavery
mennonite murder
pacifism misguided
rich and powerful people dont pay taxes
amish homosexual
can mennonites drink beer
mennonite homosexual
mennonites america problem
unable to grow facial hair properly
children and cabin fever
do you place your hand on heart to sing the national anthem
the word gob
tuk-tuks in Guatemala
inappropriate workplace behavior stories
congressmen who willfully take actions during wartime that damage morale
mennonite intolerance
chief illini jewelry
undeveloped sexually
fbi surveillance of Mennonites
mennonites on the ground in iraq
primitive physical torture photos
government spying Mennonite
dan schreiber comedian
do mennonite have facial hair
mennonite women photos
what happens when we are angry

I'm troubled that so many disturbing queries have led here, but hey, whatever it takes.

And yes, there are real people on the other side of these queries, so at one point someone did want to know how to get a large body in a casket, how to grow facial hair and why those incomprehensible Mennonites are against slavery.

Since I’m such a people pleaser, I can only say that I’m sorry I wasn’t able to help them, but that I now have a whole bunch of new ideas for blog posts.

But I can answer one question: Yes, as far as I'm concerned, Mennonites are allowed to drink beer. But only good beer. Mennonites should never drink Budweiser or Miller Lite.


Anonymous said...

"Mennonites should never drink Budweiser. . . " lest they be shunned. By Dan.

Hey, somebody had to make a bad joke about shunning somewhere on this blog.


Fingtree said...

I knew it!! It was a trick the whole time.

brownie said...

"..a voice shouting to an empty void is really just a crazy person talking to himself."

I'd say the above statement pretty well sums all writers.

And I hope that the person who queried the word "gob" read my comment, so as to get both the current venacular meaning and the archaic meaning I supplied.


brownie said...

P.S. Someone famous (?) once said that to be blessed with the gift of wanting to write includes the curse of having a mind that never rests.

Maybe that's not such a bad thing.

dw said...

and now that you've posted that list, you're going to get ALL of those searches again.


Amy said...

I've gotten "Mennonite porn" too! We must be just AWFUL mennonites.

I also got "Smelly vagina" as a query. I swear (er, affirm)!