Monday, August 13, 2007

My Increasing Pondus

I learned a great new word from Johan, our Swedish ex-foreign-exchange student. He’s not ex-foreign so much as ex-exchange student, as he’s been back in Sweden for 7 years now. He’s more like a younger brother now, and we talk every now and then, usually about his love life, or US hegemony, or the socialist paradise of Sweden. I can’t confirm the socialist paradise part, but he likes it there. I guess all that free health care, education and other socialist ideals of basic access for everyone has really warped his sense of freedom.

Anyway, I was complaining that my middle-aged gut doesn’t seem to go away so easily nowadays, even after a few hard-earned days of reasonable eating. Johan taught me a word Swedes use for that – “Pondus”, pronounced, I think, “pewn-duss”. If I understood him correctly, it means something like “life-experience”, “weight”, or “gravitas”, but is often used when pointing at one’s enormous stomach as an example of why they are right or have authority or are intimidating in some way.

What a great concept. My ever expanding belly is not the result of eating entire pints of Ben & Jerry’s or spending too much time in the Chinese food buffet line. It is a result of my life experience, and just comes naturally to someone with as much gravitas as I have. It is the final word on why I should be listened to and respected.

So instead of continually fighting against it, I am just going to accept the burden of wisdom and righteousness that is my Pondus.


j.daniel said...

dan, the medical profession has a similar word for that: pannus


Dan S said...

They must derive from the Latin. I suppose even Romans knew that pan-fried foods caused fattiness.

brownie said...

Then my superior Pondus (in relation to yours) must surely prove to you that my life experience is far superior to yours and therefore, I am correct about things (especially those sticky political points) much more often than you.

Then again, it would also follow that Rush Limbaugh or Karl Rove are probably dead on about everything. So I guess this whole pondus thing really is about ice cream consumption.

(I like Edy's)